Being helpful is so interesting…
I just spoke on talk radio with Stephanie Gunning and Nancy Peske (I definitely want to check out her book, Cinema Therapy) (my NY interview). I’m still wired from great conversation with interesting people so I thought I’d continue the conversation here.
When I finish something I generally think, yikes! why didn’t I…. (probably says something deep about the voice in my head). This time I wish I had mentioned more recent movies! There are a ton! Like The Help. Which made me think about being helpful and the difference between the Hero and the Virgin.
The Hero helps others because they really need it. People could die. He learns there are things that are worth dying for and he pushes back the boundaries of his mortality to do it. All good. Hero grows personally, village is preserved and protected.
Now the Virgin is a different story. When she helps others it is often at the expense of herself as seen in The Help. People have power over her and she makes herself small to appease them. It’s like feeding the angry dragon so it won’t be grumpy and burn you (I’m thinking How to Train Your Dragon here). You give them what they want by being helpful and no trouble. This kind of helping you want to grow out of.
Psychologically, being helpful can be a sign that your protagonist doesn’t recognize her intrinsic worth – she needs a good Virgin’s journey (Maid in Manhattan, Ever After). Sometimes she is helpful to build a debt that she hopes will be repaid later. There is no healthy sense of entitlement that just because she exist she has the right to be the leading lady in her life. She needs to learn she can take up some space in life (that’s my favorite message from The Holiday). She thinks she can help others and some day they will turn around and say “your turn, how can I help you, love you, make space for you.” Of course that rarely happens unit she recognizes she can ask for it.
I did it again. More recent Virgin movies = The King’s Speech, An Education, Easy A, Black Swan – I’ve got to start watching more in the theaters! These are all out on video….
Canadian Virgin Stories
Being that I am Canadian, I would like to highlight some good Canadian Virgin movies. With Christmas coming you might be looking for a good virgin movie for a reminder of the importance of being authentic. New Waterford Girl, Better Than Chocolate, Bollywood Hollywood, Lars and the Real Girl, and District 9 come to mind.
Here’s a thumbnail in case you are interested in checking them out.
Mooney Pottie lives in Cape Breton and dreams of being an artist. Her family, however, sees a future for her as a nurse which she can do right there in Cape Breton. Moonie crafts a plan to fake a pregnancy and be sent away that sends the whole community on a journey.
Better than Chocolate is a Coming out of the Closet coming of age movie based on a time in Vancouver when a lesbian bookstore was 
censored by books being blocked from crossing the border. Maggie lives in Vancouver and works in a Lesbian Lit store as means of expressing her true self. She falls in love with Kim and the real comedy starts when her mother shows up to visit.
When Rahul’s white rock star girlfriend 
dies his mother decides to assert their East Indian values and insists he marry a nice Indian girl. He must at least be engaged before his sister can marry. When he learns she is pregnant, Rahul sets out to pretend to be engaged so his sister can have a timely wedding. He meets a beautiful girl on her own journey to be authentic despite her parent’s wishes that she marry an Indian man who will secure her father’s retirement.
When I first heard the premise of Lars and the Real Girl I thought it was a set up for a string of raunchy jokes. It turns out it is a heart warming story with some light comedy. Lars is a person who has known heart ache and isolates himself 
because of it. When the isolation gets to him he discovers he can get an inflatable girl that is all of the company and none of the dangers of being close to someone. He goes for it and the community is required to respond.
District 9 is a science fiction set in a time when a huge space ship settles over the continent of Africa casting a shadow. The ship is full of crustacean like beings of human intelligence who are refugees from their 
planet. They are confined to ghettos and used in experiments. One day a bureaucrat is forced to see the crustacean perspective and comes to know it is his authentic self. I’m not a big Sci Fi fan but I found the archetypal elements of this story REALLY interesting.
the victim archetype
The Victim archetype as a very powerful onscreen presence which made me wonder, what is the secret to writing a victim character?
The Archetypical Victim is the shadow side of the Virgin. She/he is the character who has lost touch with her intrinsic worth. To put it another way, she lives in a culture that fails to see her value for being herself and she accepts this opinion in order to belong. I see a continuum between the Victim and the completion of the Virgin’s journey.
Fight Club and Black Swan have Victim leading characters. In Fight Club the narrator follows his journey and becomes a Virgin (a person who knows he is of value and gets his definition of what is of value from his inner guidance). Precious follows this journey as well. Black Swan and Virgin Suicides don’t successfully navigate their journeys making them tragic stories.
A Victim is shown to be devalued by some part of her society and to internalize that message. She may become depressed, deny herself joy, practice addictive behavior to numb the pain, or even self-mutilate.
The key is not to confuse Cowards with Victims. If fear is making his/her world smaller he needs to go on the journey of the Hero to overcome the fear (don’t judge the word Coward – it is a recognition of being controlled by fear and allowing it to justify your actions or inaction. We all operate as a Coward sometimes).
Virgins don’t need to take martial arts classes to overcome their hardship. They need to practice self care. To explore their creative, spiritual, and sensual nature in order to reconnect with their self and reclaim a healthy sense of self-worth and entitlement. We need scenes of dancing, eating well, diving into a bucket of her favorite ice cream, asking for help, or exploring her fashion delights. This is not frivolous. It is playful and essential to the journey towards the Virgin archetype.
Another word for the Victim archetype is the Whore archetype which describes a particular type of Victim. She has had the sins of her culture dumped on her and then run out of town. She is Scapegoated in order for the society to elevate itself – some people feel better about themselves when they can degrade another person. Easy A and Mean Girls have this kind of archetypal energy at play.
Eclipse is my favourite
With the new one coming out – Breaking Dawn – I decided to re-watch the older ones. Eclipse is my favourite. It has some really great archetypal moments. Most prominent is the fact that these guys are willing to give their life to protect what they see to be of great value – Bella’s life. How wonderful it would be if we could find just one guy who felt this way about us.
The key to me is that they do this with really good focus. It is not an opportunity to show how manly they are. It is a genuine desire to be of service. Edward forgoes the big battle because he is determined to be most useful with Bella. He and the wolf pup.
When Jacob kisses Bella, Edward is not enraged because she is his girlfriend. He is enraged because Jacob kissed Bella without her permission. Rather than being territorial he is looking after Bella’s best interest, even when his heart is hurt. This is well placed self sacrifice and goes a long way to helping us understand why Bella would have chosen him. Personal, I like to go back and watch this scene a few times.
The point is made again when Bella is in need of warmth. When they thinks about it, both suitors place the care of Bella as the goal, not winning a competition between them. This is truly heroic. Again, I hit the replay button.
Breaking Dawn had good moments. I was a bit freaked by the imprinting but the flash forward helped. I just don’t want to see Bella so sickly anymore.
top ten reasons its a good time to be a film maker
Here’s a Christmas offering from my publisher. I even contributed an article…
Moneyball is about a Virgin Rebel
Is it just me or does Moneyball challenge the whole idea of what we are aiming for in life? Instead of going for the brass ring Billy Beane wants to be true to himself. That makes him a Virgin archetype.
Moneyball is a good example of the rebellious nature of the Virgin. Billy lives in a dependent world (professional baseball) where he has loads of potential that is never fully realized because he is doing it for money rather than self -fulfillment. As a baseball player Beane just never was able to get over a fear that he would not live up to other people’s expectations of him. Questioning if he was worth the money they paid him (ie. is he meeting the baseball world’s and the team’s expectations) probably kept him from finding his authentic nature. He even developed a belief that he was a jinx on the game and doesn’t attend his team’s games as a GM.
As General Manager of the Oakland A’s, Beane has a very small budget to work with and this allows him to count on his greater asset – his instinct. He goes against all the norms of baseball because he realizes you can’t expect to get a different result doing the same thing. He is a rebel and in the end it is just what the baseball community needed.
The new model for player acquisition changes the game of baseball. The Kingdom of baseball is brighter because Billy Beane went on his Virgin journey. Except we are still waiting for him to give up the belief that kept him stuck – that he is jinxed.
Virgin’s play a vital role in stories. When they allow their unique talent to shine in the world, they bring chaos, yes, but they also bring much needed innovation. Heroes know how to protect and preserve what is good. It is the journey of the Virgin that introduces new things into the community when change is needed. Virgins do this through the quest for self-fulfillment.
Is there masculine and feminine humour?
I’ve been thinking about this lately. I’ve read the Comic Toolbox and I know laughing is a physical reaction caused by the release of tension. We see someone go into a situation that is going to be so embarrassing (mini death) and it happens and we gafaw with the feeling better him than me or I can so see myself doing that. We laugh. This is the new hot comedy – the total geek wins the girl (Knocked Up) or the girl is the one farting and causing others to lose control of their bowels (Bridesmaids) (really funny scene driving around illegally in front of the cop, ).
I think this is masculine humour and there is a whole other world to be explored.
I think feminine humour is when you delight in being alive. The pleasures in the simple quirkiness of life. The way your heart sings when you see an act of love. I’m thinking about scenes like Little Miss Sunshine when they jump on stage to not let Olive be alone. I laughed because I was watching a father express unconditional love and I burst with joy. The fact that it was embarrassing was there as well but it would have been contrived without the other element. The same is true for About a Boy when Will jumps on stage to support the boy and sing a song. It is so loving it makes you smile. 
The Guard is full of quirky moments about life that make you smile. They are not built on tension and release. This is a film of drug smugglers in Ireland and one dealer/murderer is put off by the class of people they have to associate with. It’s endearing. They read high literature. It’s quirky funny. Delightfully unexpected. Bend It Like Beckham has these funny moments when Jas talks to her elder’s portrait or imagines her mother and Aunties playing
soccer. The Year Dolly Parton was my Mother has these moments.
I suggest that this delight in everyday things, laughter that comes from joy and love is a feminine style of humour that is worth exploring.
Virgins in Fairy Tales
Virgins in Fairy Tales by Kim Hudson
Great Virgins in fairy tales include Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, The Ugly Duckling, and Beauty and the Beast. Each present a different way in which the protagonist is faced with the challenge of being true to herself through creative, spiritual or sexual awakening. She begins in a Dependent World that is built around a belief she must change. But she’is not the only one who must grow. The kingdom must also rise to its better self.
Virgin stories are set in the domestic world she grew up in because her growth is psychological. She needs to identify the values that are being imposed on her by her kingdom and find a way to voice her own opinion. The magic is in her transformation as she travels to her interior world.
Cinderella hopes that if she is really helpful she will have a place with her stepmother or stepsister (Dependent World). As long as she doesn`t shine, she can appease their envy. But envy has a way of dehumanizing the envied and craving ownership of her soul. Movies like Ever After and Pretty Woman are Cinderella story where she reclaims her soul. In beat eight of the Virgin’s journey, Gives Up What Kept Her stuck, Cinderella must recognize that no amount of meeting the needs of others is going to get her the unconditional love she deserves. She has to reveal her true nature by following her dream to find out who loves her for who she really is.
Snow White is eating the poison apple delivered to her by her jealous stepmother. As she eats the demented view of her worth she sees her place in the world as very small. Even when she finds a small safe world, the wicked queen comes after her. Precious is an excellent example of a modern Snow White. She believes she is dependent on her mother for love and survival. Snow White must recognize that her mother is feeding her poison and stop taking it in.
Sleeping Beauty is just numb to who she could be. She walks around in a fog, blind to her real potential, following the path of least resistance. About a Boy and Legally Blond are both Sleeping Beauties. They need to wake up and recognize that living up to their potential is worth whatever pain is involved.
The Ugly Duckling doesn`t fit in with the people she lives with. Her fear is that she will lose her family if she is true to herself so she keeps trying to be a duck when she is really a swan. However, she makes a really lousy duck. She can never shine when the measurements of shining have nothing to do with who she is. Billy Elliot is an ugly duckling when he tries to be a boxer. Glee is full of Swans in a high school of ducks who slushie them to get them to conform. This Virgin needs to risk exclusion from the group in order to be true to herself.
Beauty and the Beast is the story of giving up your life to preserve the values of the father. ‘Take me as your captive` she says to the Beast, in order to save her father. This Virgin needs to break free of patriarchal values and value herself. Bend It Like Beckham embodies this tale as she gives up soccer to conform to the traditions of her family. Kristin Lavralitnsdatter is a fabulous Scandinavian version of this story.
Little Red Riding Hood is being a really good girl, taking baked goods to her sick Gramma. Walking through the forest alone she carries with her the warnings of her kingdom to stay on the path of safety and not open herself to strangers. When she meets the wolf she is curious about him, a metaphor for her sexual awakening and her dilemma over the potential dangers of being with a man as well as the pleasures. She isn’t sure if she should trust her community that is more comfortable with her being a little girl than a woman or her natural instinct. It is interesting because there are real dangers but also great joys. This is the story of An Education and The Accused.
The Virgin gets stung by the wolf but decides in beat 11 that her sexuality is good, but the wolf needs to change. In Virgin stories not just the protagonist grows. The kingdom must also transform itself.
The Help
I just saw this movie and really enjoyed it. It is one of those movies that stays with you and makes you think. My friend Jen Grisanti made a comment on her facebook wall that it didn’t follow a structure. It’s a really good point. It doesn’t follow the solid structure of hero stories but I still think there is a structure there. Here’s my version of how it follows a Virgin structure. I’m going from memory so there is a gap or two.
There are several parallel journeys here (part of what make sit compelling). Aibileen and Eugenia follow parallel Virgin stories and I’ll describe them both. Warning! Spoilers:
1. Dependent World: Aibileen is a maid in the southern US during the civil rights movement. Eugenia was raised by her maid and is home as her mother fights cancer.
2.Price of Conformity: Aibileen must endure long hours of work for low pay and raise other people’s children even while her son was young. Eugenia is staying with her family when she really wants to be starting her writing career in New York.
3. Opportunity to Shine: Eugenia sees the maids are treated poorly and she gets the idea it would make a great book. Aibileen is asked to contribute to Eugenia’s book and her minister preaches that it is time to be courageous.
4. Dress the Part: Eugenia comes to Aibileen’s house and notices how nice she looks in her own clothes.
5. Secret World: Secretly they write the story
6. No Longer Fits Her World: Hilly’s Maid is brutally arrested and Eugenia feels helpless and outraged. Eugenia discovers her mother is part of the problem. Rather than being passive they put an incriminating story about Hilly in the book to protect themselves.
8.Gives Up What Kept Her Stuck: Eugenia recognizes that she has to ask the hard question of her mother and discovers her Nanny died of a broken heart when mother fired her for displeasing a guest.
11. Chooses Her Light: Despite exposing how her family as a part of the problem, Eugenia sends the book to the publisher.
7. Caught Shining: The book comes out. Eugenia tells her boyfriend she is the author.
9. Kingdom in Chaos: Once supportive Boyfriend accuses Eugenia of being selfish and leaves her.
10. Wanders in the Wilderness: Hilly comes to Eugenia on the attack.
12. The Re-order: Eugenia’s mother sends Hilly packing and tells Eugenia she has never been prouder of her and she can go to New York because she has decided not to die.
13. The Kingdom is Brighter: Aibileen’s church group thanks her for her important contribution to the civil rights movement.
11. Chooses Her Light: Eugenia gets a job offer in New York and Aibileen and friend encourage her to go and do more good writing (13).
9. The Kingdom in Chaos: The community is reading the book and in a flap. Hilly accuses Aibileen of theft and pressures her boss to fire her which means the little girl Aibileen loves will be raised by a negligent mother.
11. Chooses Her Light: Aibileen stands up to Hilly very courageously.
10. Wanders in the Wilderness: Scared for what will become of the child, Aibileen is fired.
11. Chooses Her Light: Aibileen recognizes that she needs to be a writer and walks away.
I think it follows the structure rather well!
What’s with the Red Cape?
It is pretty obvious that the red cape Gramma gave to Little Red Riding Hood marks her as a scarlet woman or at least sexually interested. Little Red is having sexual feelings and her community is telling her to stay on the safe path. Gramma, playing the Crone, gives her a red cape so the wolf will find her and shake up her world.
I have often thought you’d have to be pretty naive to think a wolf is your gramma just because it is wearing her nightcap and glasses and in her bed. Then again, Little Red has been told to deny her intuition (the following of her sexual awakening) and accept the guidance of her community. She denies her intuition all the time. Why should this be any different? Maybe this was Gramma’s intention all along when she made the red cape and gave it to her granddaughter.
The fact is the wolf IS potentially dangerous. He has really big teeth. He could rip her apart with his claws. He could coldly use her to satisfy his animal lust. The point is, Little Red cannot overpower the wolf in hand to hand combat and if this was her only source of power she bloody well better stick to the safe path. But she has another power. A feminine power. She has her intuition. When Little Red Riding Hood learns to trust her intuition, she can tell the difference between a joyfully exciting wolf who she can invite into her house (see David Kaplan short), and a bad wolf. Thanks Gramma.
Recent Comments