Archive for March, 2013

Beat 8. Gives Up What Kept Her Stuck

All of us work really hard to stay stuck.  I know it sounds crazy but there is probably some unconscious belief in your head that is blocking you from fulfilling your greatest potential.  It reminds me of that great Tibetan proverb that says

“No matter how far you are down the wrong path – turn back!!”  

This is what Gives Up WHat Kept Her Stuck is all about.  It is becoming conscious of your limiting belief.  Notice that this is story beat number 8.  The reason your protagonist can become conscious of her limiting belief is because she has been in her secret world and grown in her connection to her authentic self.  This connection gives her the solid grounding to be able to see things from a perspective of independent thought.

My favorite classic example of this moment is in Ever After when Danielle directly asks her step mother if she has any feelings of love for her.  She has been working like a slave in the hopes that she could please her step mother and earn love for she has never known the love of a mother.  Her step mother smirks and questions why she would feel love for a pebble in her shoe.  With great sadness, Danielle gives a firm nod and accepts the truth that has been before her all the time – this woman will never love her unconditionally.  From her face and her actions from that moment forward you know she is no longer limited by her belief that her step mother might love her, and her step mother has lost power over her.

Finding this moment in your story is a key factor in the transformation of the Virgin.  You can often find what the limiting belief was by looking back at beat number 2 – Price of Conformity.  Ask yourself why your protagonist felt she had to conform to her dependent world and then give her a reason, based on love, that she understands that is not her best option.

In About A Boy this moment happens when he hits rock bottom and it occurs to him that island living is not the answer.  To be happy he has to care about someone besides himself.  Similarly, in Wedding Crashers John is at a funeral and realizes it is better to have loved and grieve than to never have loved at all.  These moments clear the way for the Virgin to grow into her authentic self.

What is the light bulb moment for your protagonist where she realizes that she has a belief about what she deserve in life and it is not working for her?  Once she is conscious of the falseness of the belief she can just let it go.


March 28, 2013 at 8:42 am 2 comments


Hello anyone who is out there.  I have been away from this blog for too long and I regret this.  It is like I have drifted from my virgin self while I heroically pushed to complete a renovation on my house.  I am back and rejuvenated by my lovely environment.

Environment is so important in the virgin world.  When we surround ourselves with things that feel beautiful, colors that move us, scents that uplift us like citrus in the winter, or freshly baked vanilla cookies, we have found a tangible connection to our inner voice and our source of joy.  This simple act has profound impact.  The virgin archetype lives in a world driven by love.  Love is not like fear which finds you and pushes you around if you don’t push back.  Love is something you have to make space in your life for by being present and gazing inward.  You have to awaken to love and welcome it in.  You have to make a wish, or appeal to the gods, or believe in your dreams.  When we notice the sensual delights that appeal to us and put them in our environment we have found the door to enter the love based world.  

Stories that are driven by love need to take some time to experience the environment of your protagonist and how s/he responds to it.  The reader needs to be taken to this world where the rules are different and experience the joy of it.  At its best, this environment reflects the worthiness of the virgin to be seen for who she knows herself to be.   


On the shadow side, the Victim archetype exists in an environment that sends her the message she is irrelevant.  Things are run down, drab, and broken.  Sometimes even her body is not respected.  It is an environment where she must struggle to gain a connection to her intrinsic worth as nothing in her surroundings or her relationships gives her evidence that she is seen or appreciated for being her beautiful self.

So what is the environment like in your story?  How can you use the sensual aspects of it to take a person on the Virgin journey?

March 21, 2013 at 10:40 am Leave a comment

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The Virgin’s Promise

Writing Feminine Stories of Creative, spiritual and Sexual Awakening

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