the secret world

August 2, 2013 at 9:34 am 1 comment

Creation of a Secret World is a mark of a shift in the Virgin’s mindset.  Rather than conforming to the wishes of others, checking everything for their approval, she is choosing to make a decision for herself.  It is a beginning step to understanding she can create a boundary between herself and the world.  The Virgin is not ready to completely change her world but she will make this safe bond with herself as a first step.

I love this moment in Ever After .  Every time Danielle is with the prince she is herself, and full of idealistic values. It is the same in Bridesmaid when she is with the cop and feels light hearted and authentic (in sharp contrast to how she feels at her job).  In Shakespeare in Love the SW is the theatre when she is dressed as a boy.  images-30

Stories often create the Secret World with an emphasis on the fear she feels.  I want to make a big point that fear is not the important aspect.  Finding the secret world is an act of self-love.  The secret world is the creation of a boundary between her awakening self and any elements that might disrupt it.  It creates a space of safety and appreciation, a cocoon,  that is an incubator for the desired growth.

Crossing back and forth from one world to the other can be a point of fear or comedy, but it is a waste of time for the Virgin to be thinking about being discovered while she is in her SW.  When she is consumed with fear she cannot blossom.  The SW gives her the time to follow her bliss and develop a strong connection to her authentic self, strong enough to eventually weather any disapproval or emotional pull off centre when she is ready to present her true self to all her worlds.

Back and forth is an important aspect of the SW.  Too much development in isolation can cause her to lose touch with reality and grow in a direction that makes her dysfunctional in the society she eventually wants to join.  This is seen in the New Zealand story Beautiful Creatures, where two girls become so wrapped up in their world and how no one understands them that they eventually kill the mother to preserve their SW.  The real horror is that it is based on a true story.  Black Swan is a story where she goes so deeply into her imaginative world she can’t fully come back to her real world.  Going back and forth to the SW also builds a bridge between the two.  She may even end of showing a lot of other people how to cross the bridge and make the Kingdom brighter.

Wallpaper-ever-after-32189709-500-281 So when you’re writing a story, or going on your own Virgin’s Journey, find a Secret World where you give yourself (character) permission to practice self care, follow interests with curiosity, and be playful.


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boundaries and vulnerability Where’s the guy?

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Lorne  |  August 2, 2013 at 3:38 pm

    Kim: The Secret World works brilliantly, both as a story structure phase, and as a vital asset when facing major challenges in real life. Having a place to go, literally or figuratively, a “home” where you feel entirely yourself, can be a lifeline for us in times of great need. I’m also so pleased that you acknowledged that residing exclusively in the SW is as perilous as not having one to go to!
    Your VP blogs continue to inform, excite and engage. Merci beaucoup!


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