Beat 8. Gives Up What Kept Her Stuck

March 28, 2013 at 8:42 am 2 comments

All of us work really hard to stay stuck.  I know it sounds crazy but there is probably some unconscious belief in your head that is blocking you from fulfilling your greatest potential.  It reminds me of that great Tibetan proverb that says

“No matter how far you are down the wrong path – turn back!!”  

This is what Gives Up WHat Kept Her Stuck is all about.  It is becoming conscious of your limiting belief.  Notice that this is story beat number 8.  The reason your protagonist can become conscious of her limiting belief is because she has been in her secret world and grown in her connection to her authentic self.  This connection gives her the solid grounding to be able to see things from a perspective of independent thought.

My favorite classic example of this moment is in Ever After when Danielle directly asks her step mother if she has any feelings of love for her.  She has been working like a slave in the hopes that she could please her step mother and earn love for she has never known the love of a mother.  Her step mother smirks and questions why she would feel love for a pebble in her shoe.  With great sadness, Danielle gives a firm nod and accepts the truth that has been before her all the time – this woman will never love her unconditionally.  From her face and her actions from that moment forward you know she is no longer limited by her belief that her step mother might love her, and her step mother has lost power over her.

Finding this moment in your story is a key factor in the transformation of the Virgin.  You can often find what the limiting belief was by looking back at beat number 2 – Price of Conformity.  Ask yourself why your protagonist felt she had to conform to her dependent world and then give her a reason, based on love, that she understands that is not her best option.

In About A Boy this moment happens when he hits rock bottom and it occurs to him that island living is not the answer.  To be happy he has to care about someone besides himself.  Similarly, in Wedding Crashers John is at a funeral and realizes it is better to have loved and grieve than to never have loved at all.  These moments clear the way for the Virgin to grow into her authentic self.

What is the light bulb moment for your protagonist where she realizes that she has a belief about what she deserve in life and it is not working for her?  Once she is conscious of the falseness of the belief she can just let it go.

Entry filed under: Archetype theory, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , .

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. somewhatcluelessbutlearning  |  March 28, 2013 at 2:45 pm

    Generously thoughtful. Thanks.

    Trying to figure out the picture in context … is it a well known metaphor? Or is it just showing what holds her back lined up with their backs against the wall?

  • 2. Lorne Agnew  |  April 6, 2013 at 4:40 am

    Kim: great blog! You’ve captured the essence of that moment of epiphany in narrative when the protagonist sheds her cloak of limiting beliefs. The movies you dissected in The Virgin’s Promise were terrific choices to demonstrate this critical juncture in the story.
    Also, as your insightful outline of the steps (beats) along the Virgin’s journey reveals, it’s not easy to let go. To paraphrase Hollis, we work hard to stay stuck!

    The power of the movies you write about lies in their capacity to help viewers transform their own lives. Part of your huge contribution is to “map out” the journey towards personal transformation. Discovering and claiming our authentic selves is a Herculean task, but the Virgin’s Promise helps make it possible.


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The Virgin’s Promise

Writing Feminine Stories of Creative, spiritual and Sexual Awakening

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